McFly reveals Vikings as Super Bowl LIV champs

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McFly reveals Vikings as Super Bowl LIV champs

Tim Wilmot, Editor

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Following the Minnesota Vikings’ week one victory over the Atlanta Falcons, Vikings flags have been streaming outside of Minnesotans’ front doors and off of their cars. This is not an uncommon sight when the Vikings are having a successful season, but this year it’s a different story.

A young man, Martin McFly, has been revealing facts from what he claims is the almanac from 2025. This book contains records of all major sporting events in recent years. He claims to have come back to the future to give Vikings fans a heads up that the 2019 NFL season will be the year the Minnesota Vikings finally win the Super Bowl. According to the almanac, the Vikings will defeat the New England Patriots by a score of 27-24 to become Super Bowl LIV champions. Although he seems to be a stand-up guy, skeptics continue to doubt the authenticity of McFly’s claims.

To quell the doubts, McFly has given information about the first two weeks of the season. He correctly predicted the 28-12 victory over the Falcons, which has boosted the confidence of true Vikings fans. Additionally, he has revealed that the Vikings will defeat the Packers at Lambeau Field by a score of 24-21. This claim doesn’t even need verification, as any real Vikings fan knows that the Packers don’t stand a chance. Finally, McFly has revealed that the Vikings will finish the regular season with a record of 12-4 and will go relatively uncontested through the playoffs. Additionally, Dalvin Cook will lead the league in rushing touchdowns with a total of 21.

His predictions leave little doubt in the minds of fans that this is our year. None of his claims seem to be even the slightest bit unrealistic and it’s hard not to believe someone who came back to the future to inform fans about sports. When all of the facts are taken into account, it seems that the only logical response is to put up flags for a team that could not possibly let fans down again. Some clothing manufacturers have already begun to make shirts that show the Vikings as divisional, conference, and national champions just to get ahead of the upcoming demand. One dedicated fan has even gotten a tattoo on his left buttocks that reads “Minnesota Vikings: Super Bowl LIV Champions.” The tattoo, while viewed by some as premature, is seen by others as being ahead of its time and a testament to the confidence built by McFly and his almanac.

McFly recently appeared on SportsCenter and revealed the winners for the upcoming week. He said “I have been telling Vikings fans for years that they won’t win until 2019. They just wouldn’t listen to me. I’ve been telling them since the 70’s but they were still upset when the Vikings lost all 4 Super Bowls. Each time they cried about losing I told them ‘I guess you guys aren’t ready for that yet… but your kids are gonna love it.’ It seemed to only make them cry more and I hadn’t been able to get through to them since ’98, but now that things are beginning to go their way, fans are much more eager to listen.”

Clearly McFly is becoming rather tired of fans refusing to listen to him, but this year Minnesotans have already begun to praise him as their denim-clad hero. His disappearances in 1985, 89, and 90 seemed very suspicious at the time, but he cited “family issues” as his reason for leaving and fans have clearly forgiven him for his shady behavior.

As the season progresses and McFly’s credibility inevitably rises, expect to see far more team spirit than we have ever seen before. SKOL chants will likely replace the pledge of allegiance in Minnesota public schools. Purple and gold will be everywhere Minnesotans look as we rally around the team that will finally put an end to our playoff woes.