TikTok to acquire Onlyfans in preteen thirst market shakeup
Addison Scufsa, A&E Editor
October 23, 2020
Tiktok announced they are acquiring the app Onlyfans next month in a huge shakeup at the top of trending apps in 2020. Tiktok is in talks of being bought themselves, but it seems they went ahead and acquired Onlyfans first to raise their value in the eyes of pedophile billionaires. Tiktok has lon...
“My body, my choice” Expo adds necrophilia panel after popular demand
Addison Scufsa, A&E Editor
October 7, 2020
Attendees of the “My Body, My Choice” Conference (MBMCC) are excitedly taking to Twitter after the surprise addition of a necrophilia panel and Q&A session to next month’s event. The blockbuster announcement marks the first time the controversial bloc of activists will be given a platform at the...
Students face further changes as pandemic fears spike
Avery Heinen, Contributor
September 23, 2020
Unfortunately for the students at the University of Minnesota, there has been some changes made to the University’s Maroon and Gold Sunrise plan. Doug Douglason, a future member of the Board of Directors explains. The email went on to explain how dire the situation really is. As outlined in the Uni...
The deep state. She’s on it.
Timothy Wilmot, Content Editor
March 6, 2020
It is common knowledge that the government the world sees is merely a pawn on the chessboard of the deep state. This is a cause for alarm for most of the population, but after my interview with an attendant of the 2020 Conservative Political Action Conference, I can assure everyone that there is no cause...
Missouri Civil War reenactors praised for commitment to authenticity
Addison Scufsa, A&E Editor
November 24, 2019
A large group of individuals from Missouri recently received an “award of authenticity” from the Smithsonian Institute for their commitment and excellence in the growing field of Civil War reenactment. The statement from the Smithsonian elaborated a bit further on the award in their letter of re...
Green Line KOA Shortens Business Hours
Timothy Wilmot, Editor
September 30, 2019
In 2014, Metro Transit opened the first moving KOA campground connecting St Paul and Minneapolis. Originally named the Central Corridor, we now know it as the Metro Green Line, and it offers transportation and temporary housing for residents of the metro area. Metropolitan Council General Manager Wes...
A personal statement on the need to rename the union
Nathan Harman, Contributor
September 17, 2019
Facts can be evil. If evil facts are public and notable, then they are even more evil. Historical anti-Semitism on our campus has no right to be known privately. I believe that no student has any business being independently aware of prominent historical figures at the University if those figures created...
McFly reveals Vikings as Super Bowl LIV champs
Timothy Wilmot, Editor
September 15, 2019
Following the Minnesota Vikings' week one victory over the Atlanta Falcons, Vikings flags have been streaming outside of Minnesotans’ front doors and off of their cars. This is not an uncommon sight when the Vikings are having a successful season, but this year it's a different story. A young man,...
What is the French Word for Heroes?
April 19, 2019
The Notre Dame burned and the world wept. Around 7:00 p.m. on Monday, April 15th the famous church caught fire and burned for over 14 hours. While the full extent of the damage is still being assessed, the cause of the inferno remains a mystery. Paris’ fire service has stated that the fire may ...
Disney is poised to lead the cord-cutting army
Aditya Saxena
April 18, 2019
A seminal event of this decade in the realm of entertainment is about to transpire on Nov. 12 - the launch of Disney’s official streaming service, Disney+. Disney has so far splurged so excessively on its acquisition strategy that it is now left to media outlets to do its marketing. And, thus, I am...
The legacy of the Hussle
April 18, 2019
On March 31st the rapper Nipsey Hussle was shot and killed in front of his clothing store in Los Angeles California. Ermias Asghedom later well known by his stage name, died tragically at the young age of 33. Asghedom grew up in the Crenshaw neighborhood in Los Angeles, and told ...
The Evil of Intersectionality
April 5, 2019
One of my chief criticisms of the intersectional Left is their widespread unwillingness to acknowledge that all Americans are fundamentally privileged. Many of these people fail to show the adequate level of gratitude for the fact that they were born into the greatest civilization in history. For any socie...
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